October Newsletter | “Log of the Trail”

Meeting Announcement: Our October meeting will be held on Tuesday, October 19, 2010, at the Fort Davis Public Library in Fort Davis, TX, from 7:00 – 9:00 pm. If you wish to carpool from Alpine, meet us in the Big Bend Telephone parking lot before we depart at 6:30 pm.

Speaker: Darrell White – About his newly completed book!
Writing Assignment: A Ghost Story – Something spooky – anywhere from funny spooky to horror spooky. 500 words or less.
Refreshments: Eleanor Taylor, with coffee fixin’s by Phyllis Musgrove

To my friends who enjoy playing with words. ~ Reba

“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.” – Groucho Marx

“Take my wife, please.” – Henny Youngman

“If all the girls at Vassar were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be surprised.” – Dorothy Parker

“You can always count on Americans to do the right thing – after they’ve tried everything else.”- Winston Churchill

“I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat” – Will Rogers

Paraprosdokian sentences

A figure of speech that uses an unexpected ending to a series or phrase.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Going to your house of worship doesn’t make you a religious person, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR”.

I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it…so I said “Implants?”

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.

Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.

I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.

I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.


Minutes from September Meeting

Download minutes here


Demystifying Writers’ Demons One at a Time

One by One –  by Joan Upton Hall

“That” overuse

If you are looking for ways to tighten your writing style, search your manuscript for the word “that.” Each time you find it, try reading the sentence without it. If the sentence stands on its own without the word, get rid of it.
Examples of “that’s” adding flab to sentences:

“Charles knew that he would have to take a stand against the bully someday, he just hadn’t realized that it would be today.”

“Have I told you lately that I love you? Have I told you lately that I care?” (Note: These words to an old song only needed the “that’s” for rhythm’s  sake.)

“It was a fact that the car cost more than he could afford.”  (Get rid of two more wasted words here, and say “It was true the car cost…”

Do demons bedevil your writing? Similar, confusing words? Grammar, punctuation, or capitalization rules? “The Demystifier” will clear up the mystery (primary reference unless otherwise noted: Garner, Bryan A. Dictionary of Modern American Usage. N.Y.: Oxford University Press). Address questions and comments to freelance editor, Joan Upton Hall at: moc.l1501158867oa@ll1501158867aHumj1501158867. More problems like the above are demystified in the booklet, 50 Writers’ Tips. Find more at http://www.JoanUptonHall.com/books.htm.


Final Note from the Editor:

Have news? Toot your horn, clang your bell, raise your roof! Tell us your news and stories – or writing news in general, such as publications you would recommend, contests, book events, etc. Send your Braggin’ Rights and Trail Bits and other tidbits to gro.s1501158867retir1501158867wliar1501158867tniat1501158867nuoms1501158867axet@1501158867wtmtk1501158867sa1501158867.

“That” overuse

If you are looking for ways to tighten your writing style, search your manuscript for the word “that.” Each time you find it, try reading the sentence without it. If the sentence stands on its own without the word, get rid of it.
Examples of “that’s” adding flab to sentences:

“Charles knew that he would have to take a stand against the bully someday, he just hadn’t realized that it would be today.”

“Have I told you lately that I love you? Have I told you lately that I care?” (Note: These words to an old song only needed the “that’s” for rhythm’s  sake.)

“It was a fact that the car cost more than he could afford.”  (Get rid of two more wasted words here, and say “It was true the car cost…”

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